They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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