If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
