Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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