Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
