eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
