so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
