What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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