i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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