Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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