So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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