So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
