if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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