I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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