we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
