dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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