your room smells of hookers.
And success
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
