i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
