Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
fuck your aforementioned shoe
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
