u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
