Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
