The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
