Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
