Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
