you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
