Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
