woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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