Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
