I love black thongs
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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