so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
