Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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