Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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