Plan B is the new Plan A
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
