Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
