are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
