i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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