So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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