I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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