they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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