I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
