never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
