he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
