..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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