We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
