Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
