He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
