Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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