HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
