Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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