Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
