why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
