He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
