the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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