Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
