At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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